(503): That chick was hotter than Sean Kemps pee after a 10 day road trip

(229): Just beat Matt Stafford in pop-a-shot basketball at McFaddens! (229): Ya that TOTALLY makes up for him banging your girlfriend

(234): Went 0-5 in my co-ed slowpitch softball league tonight ….  I hate my father

(205): Just saw a guy who spent 300 bucks to custom make a #55 POWERS jersey  … gotta love America

(480): Correct me if I’m wrong but, is “the air up there” not the greatest sports movie ever made?

(510): Al Davis knows about twitter … he just prefers skywriting

(301): just got a BJ while doing my fantasy draft in Madden! (301): your moms the best!

(262): vikings picked up favre? ... can you say cash for clunkers

(303): i just took off this chicks panties ... now i know what licking kyle orton's neck would be like.

(440):  I wish I was tony reali so I could mute Joe morgan on sunday night baseball.

(440): I wish I was tony reali so I could take a rusty razor blade the long way down my own no-talent-having-ass forearm.